Bibbetty, Bobbetty, Boo
by Rachel Ragg
I have been reading lots of splendido blog posts (courtesy of KateTakesFive) recently in which parental fairy godmothers (and fathers) conjure up their five top wishes for their children.
My main wish for mine at the moment is for them to go back to school. We have spent four solid weeks in one another’s company, and I dare say they are just as much in need of a break as I am. I am sure that whoever invented Easter didn’t mean it to last for over a month.
But if imagine it’s already Wednesday and they are safely incarcerated again, what would I wish for them in adulthood?
1. To live near to a John Lewis store. Our nearest one is 40 miles away, and it is no fun.
2a. To marry a rich man (daughter). I would like to spare her the trauma of having children and washing endless pants whilst simultaneously trying to earn a living. Failing that, I would like her to save us all some money and become a vet.
2b. To marry an organised woman (son). Without a well-organised wife, he will forget that people do things like get dressed before leaving the house.
3. To live in a house that is not a DIY-renovation project (the rich husband could come in handy here). Though I’m not sure they would know what to do in a house where they didn’t have to pick their way through rubble-sacks.
4. Never to emigrate Down South.
5. To have at least four children each. Because – despite excessive Easter holiday fatigue – nothing beats having children. And if all else fails, children are a good excuse to buy Mini Boden clothes.
I hate to have to break this to you, but the Vicar told us yesterday that easter lasts 50 days. I think you should ring your school!
Ah. That figures. Cathedral school = 50 days off at Easter. Hmmmm.
How far south are we talking? Marrying rich: definitely! And if it doesn’t work out, always get half!
Love your list!
Thanks!
‘How far south’ is a good question. I think Leicester would have to be the cut-off point!!
Oh come ON, how can you be so self-sacrificing?
Top 5 should be things like:
1) Marry rich spouse – who will buy holiday homes in beautiful spots, available to all members of extended family, particularly parents and parents-in-law
2) Be brilliant cook, with special interest in Christmas dinner
3) Become medical professional specialising in geriatric care
4) Have children (yes, I agree with that one, but they must be very sweet, well-behaved, go to bed on time without complaint, and bring a nanny along with them when they come to stay)
5) Have brilliant career in retail, becoming Chief Exec of either John Lewis or Boden, or both, with hugely generous discounts and freebies for extended family.
CH of JL or Boden: what a splendid idea. That is what we need in our family!!