Sam’s Dad, Naked

by Rachel Ragg

I am not good at recognising faces. In fact, I am so bad at recognising faces that I failed to recognise my own husband when I bumped into him in John Lewis.

But when we were at the local swimming pool at half term, it wasn’t a problem, as my children were perfectly able to recognise their schoolfriend Sam and his dad when we found ourselves sharing a float with them at water “fun”. And so we spent a merry hour in the pool with Sam and his dad, then went our separate ways.

This morning, I found myself standing next to a man in the playground. The fact that he was in the playground suggested that he was a parent. And the fact that he said hello to me suggested that I should know who he was.

“Hello,” I replied carefully. Hmm, I wondered. Where have I seen you before?

He was smart and well dressed, which suggested that he had a real job. But that didn’t narrow it down quite enough.

“Did the children enjoy the water fun?” he asked.

Then the proverbial penny dropped. Swimming pool. Water fun. Sam’s dad.

“Oh!” I exclaimed. “I’m so sorry – I didn’t recognise you with your clothes on.”

The playground fell silent.

It is said that the worst thing you can do when you are in a hole is to keep on digging. So that’s precisely what I did.

“Um, I mean, I don’t mean naked, I mean, swimming … trunks … oh dear.”

I think I will send my husband to do the school pick-up today.

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