The Lady’s Not For Turning – Not
by Rachel Ragg
Thanks to last night’s news, I have been reminded that U-turns are a Very Bad Thing. Ed Balls said so, so it must be true.
To my mind, this proves only that he spends more time at work than he spends with his children.
All real parents know that U-turns are inevitable.
Dummies, toddler reins, television, computer games, Annabel Karmel, Disney … you name it, I have U-turned on it. Schools, puppies, where to live … yep, you’ve guessed it. If it weren’t for U-turns, my son would have been under a bus, and my daughter would be bottom in Horrible History.
We don’t even save our U-turns for little things like where to live, either. They even extend to McDonald’s and Pizza Hut. Mr Balls has obviously never been trapped in a Cornwall-bound car with my children for 12 hours if he thinks that fuel duty, static caravans and Cornish pasties represent a serious change of policy.
I like to think that my U-turns demonstrate my admirable flexibility and willingness to listen and take into account the situations as they are, rather than as I imagined they might be (cue ludicrous visions of well-mannered children daintily nibbling home-made organic cous-cous). They are obviously not the result of having made rubbish decisions in the first place.
I think the only thing we haven’t U-turned on is having children. Though that’s probably only because it’s too late.
When it comes to everything else, this lady is very decidedly for turning.