The Lady’s Not For Turning – Not
by Rachel Ragg
Thanks to last night’s news, I have been reminded that U-turns are a Very Bad Thing. Ed Balls said so, so it must be true.
To my mind, this proves only that he spends more time at work than he spends with his children.
All real parents know that U-turns are inevitable.
Dummies, toddler reins, television, computer games, Annabel Karmel, Disney … you name it, I have U-turned on it. Schools, puppies, where to live … yep, you’ve guessed it. If it weren’t for U-turns, my son would have been under a bus, and my daughter would be bottom in Horrible History.
We don’t even save our U-turns for little things like where to live, either. They even extend to McDonald’s and Pizza Hut. Mr Balls has obviously never been trapped in a Cornwall-bound car with my children for 12 hours if he thinks that fuel duty, static caravans and Cornish pasties represent a serious change of policy.
I like to think that my U-turns demonstrate my admirable flexibility and willingness to listen and take into account the situations as they are, rather than as I imagined they might be (cue ludicrous visions of well-mannered children daintily nibbling home-made organic cous-cous). They are obviously not the result of having made rubbish decisions in the first place.
I think the only thing we haven’t U-turned on is having children. Though that’s probably only because it’s too late.
When it comes to everything else, this lady is very decidedly for turning.
My u-turns sound like this:
‘Dad, can I have some chewing gum?’
‘No.’
‘Pleeeeeease?’
‘Oh, all right then’
When I first had children, my mother’s advice was: say yes if you can – and if you say no, then mean it. I have failed to heed this advice.
Mine too! It sounds so simple…
You should write that as an article and earn good money for it. Very clever! The more I read other people’s blogs the more I realise what an unpleasant mother I am. I hate U-turning with my kids in case they think they can winkle away at my defences and secure iPhones and plasma screens and Nike trainers and Pom Bears and all the many many things I’m Against!
Ah. There are of course many, many things that I will never do U-turns on (mobile phones, Jack Wills clothes, body piercing, boyfriends, girlfriends, make-up, visible underpants… the list is positively endless!)
But thank you for your very lovely comment.
OK, so what’s the answer on the puppy front? We’ve spent a decade explaining why exactly we don’t have a dog. But now (moving to new location, trying to make settling in easier), we think we might get one. I have been pondering this very U-turn issue. Did you come up with a good answer re puppies? (I’m playing the new location card, I think, and the “now you’re all older and more responsible” one.)
Oh yes, you have the two perfect excuses there!!
Ours was the reverse u-turn: having said yes, we then had to say no (because we still have no kitchen floor). Maybe next summer instead…
A reverse u-turn. Are you entering the Olympics with that one?
Ha! That would be the nearest I have ever come to a sport.
I’ve linked to you in my post here
http://blogiota.blogspot.co.uk/2012/07/cat-is-out-of-bag.html
Yep U-turning a skill all parents must learn and take a life time to master! It’s either that or bribery!
Bribery is my other favourite…!